David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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