we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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