Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Non-Jews are for practice
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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