ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
