I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
