Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
