I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
