i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
