Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
