Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
