YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
