I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
