Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
