Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
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He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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