Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
