I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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