I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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