I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
