and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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