I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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