Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
