She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
