I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
