Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
