ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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