We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
