Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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