Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
