what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
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