i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
