She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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