i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
