Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
