Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Acid is not a monday night drug
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
