whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
