For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
