i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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