You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize