apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
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So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
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Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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