Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
tell me about the eggs
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize