If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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