y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize