The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize