yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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