i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
