I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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