this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
