god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
