My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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