You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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