um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
it was like having sex with a tree stump
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
