epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
