um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
