thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
