if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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