So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
