He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
