you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
