Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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