How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
