I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
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