Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
