I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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