You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.